GOODBYEBEFOREWE'VEEVENMET.

thinking about stopping blogging, or making a new blog or something.  this one seems kinda wasted with time.  if those are the right words.  not sure they are since i've only wrote fiftyone (now fiftytwo) posts and haven't had this post for even a year.  but you understand, right?  i might make an anonymous blog.  not tell anyone the link.  people can follow if they stumble across it, but i won't be giving out a link.  it might work, i guess.
i'm not into fashion or anything, my passion is music.  but maybe i'll continue a little like this.  only less information about myself.  and names.  that way noone can see what i write and my friends will never know my true feelings, like what this blog has done to me.  some pretty bad things have happened over here since i made my blog.  one of my friends has stopped blogging again for a while.  another girl i thought i knew deleted her blog.  not sure if she'll still come to this blog or not.  who knows.  the friend might, but i won't give her the link either.  i want this one to be au natural nikky.  not have anyone that knows me commenting.  just people that understand that i don't want people i know reading my personal things.
it's one of my fears.  for them to find out too much and go off me, which i guess might have happened, oh well.  like i care now.  but someone very dear to me.  like daniel, my shitty posts on here i wouldn't want him to read.  some of them are so full of hate.  and i hate that.  ha, i just used a word i don't like using in places like this.  but that's off subject.
if i do start a new blog, what kind of things would you want me to write?  maybe my day in someone elses point of view.  maybe what i look like from the outside looking in.  maybe that's a good idea.  maybe not.
maybe i'll just give it a go and see how it turns out.  thank you for reading all of my posts.  it was lovely to meet you all. (L)

ONEWRONGWORDANDI'LLBREAKYOURWRIST.

to be honest, i'm way past caring.  keeping things bottled up doesn't make you look stronger makes you look stupider when you finally uncover it.  the ones that show their problems are the ones that can deal with them, not the ones that let them mount up and up and up until they just can't take it anymore.  the clever ones.
to be honest, i love you far too much to ever say that.  and i can't believe you thought that.  i never will.  i couldn't stand it.  it would break my own heart too.  and if i hurt you...  i just couldn't stand it.
to be honest, i'm getting closer than i thought to you.  it's quite strange but i do like it.  i just never thought we would really end up that way.
to be honest, i'm sick of people overreacting.  and yes, you could have killed me, if you'd stabbed me a bit higher up in my neck, so i didn't overreact at all.


we didn't fricking leave you, kay?  we weren't about to stand in the pouring rain to wait for someone that's bailed.  you wouldn't have appreciated it anyway.  you never do.


and now i just read your blog.  and the crap you wrote on there was the end of it.
that's the end of it.  stop treating me like shit.  i'm not even gonna talk civilized to you anymore.  and my last post?  that wasn't directed at you, but believe what you want cuz i'm past caring.

stfu.

shut the fuck up.  i hate you.

...

oh my god.  you're actually pathetic.  i hate you.

UPDATION.

still haven't done those posts, wearing far too much eyeliner, watching how i met your mother, talking to daniel, my eyesights gone crappy lately, CRAPPY EYESIGHT, UGH.
going in the shower now.  post later or tomorrow.  most probably tomorrow. xxx

THAT'STHEWAYILOVEDYOU.

so i guess you're wanting this amazing post full of light and pictures.  well tough, you're gonna have to deal cuz i have like.. three essays for a site and a charrie waiting to be accepted that i have to add a few things too and i'm talking to my friends and trying to find my clothes (yeah, i lost my clothes.  woohoo...), i haven't eaten all day and i think i might pass out and i just really can't be assed right now.  think i'm due on my period soon, such a pain in the ass. >.<  but atleast it means i'm actually nice for a week.  not normal.


went back to school today, so i'm even more stressed out cuz of that, sure i'll get homework tomorrow so i'm enjoying the let off we had today while i can.  ohmygod i must have had this chewy for four hours now and it's making me feel sick, and even more hungry.  don't really know why i'm ranting on about my chewy to you but i'm alone in the house so y'know.  you get to hear it instead.  might make something to eat, probably won't.  hope it's a mcdonalds for tea.  yum.


i should really be getting on with my post now.  but i think i need something to eat before i do actually die.  talk to you later or something like that.

SHEDON'TEVENKNOWYOUNEVERGONNALOVEYOULIKEIWANTTO.

meh.


nothing i really want to talk about today.  except people sometimes don't take things the way you want them to.
'nuff said.


(the initial thing wasn't lame.  it was so that anyone who read your blog {except for the obvious} wouldn't understand.)

loads of shit. oh, i didn't stop blogging yet btw... :|

and then it hits you...  maybe she's not as happy as she makes out to be.  but she won't tell you.


maybe she's scared of rocking the boat.  or maybe she's scared that she won't be able to stop the tears.


and all she wants is someone to take care of her.  but she can't find a guy that will.


and maybe she wants you to understand but she can't find the willpower to ask you to see under the exterior.  and you carry on overlooking what's on the inside.


-----------------------------


she never talks about herself, always wanting other people to be in the spotlight so she can pretend that she's okay too.  i tell her that she doesn't have to pretend to me, she says she doesn't pretend she just hides it.  that she just doesn't mention it and i try and tell her that she can mention anything to me but she saves that for someone else instead.  she says that people say 'a problem shared is a problem halved.'  when it's not it's a problem shared is a problem doubled.  she can't see how it would get it off her chest than if she kept quiet.
she can't see how i want to help her, how i want to know what she's thinking, how she's doing, what's she's saying.
and i know she's known her longer, but is still want to be trusted the same.  i want her to tell me the same things as her and know she can talk to me about anything.  also, her friend is more 'keep quiet and listen' whereas i'm more 'i'm nikky and you better listen to me or you're screwed'.

i'm sorry. i love you all. (L)

i'm thinking of stopping blogging for awhile.  taking some time off and chilling out more.  i keep forgetting to post lately.  i might blog again soon.  if not, make a new blog.  hope you have a wonderful time<3

photographsssss(L)

well i'm going shopping today, so when i get home with the looovely things i'm sure i'll buy i'll take some photos and show you them<3


yesterday at the cinemas (watching valentines day; i recommend. :]) was good, not sure the boys enjoyed it as much as we did but ooh well. :P


how was all of your weekends/halfterm plans? :) xxxxxx

untouchable - taylor swift.

untouchable burning brighter than the sun; and when your close i feel like coming undone.

oh my god.

apparently daniel isn't allowed to go tomorrow and the weirdest thing is: he doesn't know why.  which is weird, cuz you'd think he would; right?


he's definitely not coming.  he just said.   my heart feels all empty now.  like he doesn't even want to go.  i might go and cry now.

♥

words mean more than actions.

so much death and destruction.  so much speaking without thinking.  so much arguing and fighting.  so much control and not need.


death is a strange thing, they say all good things must come to an end.  i guess that's true, because you die.  right?
destruction is a sad thing, it means that wonderful things are broken and abandoned.


speaking is our way of communicating, but we don't think how much it could hurt someone.
thinking is something we should all do more often.


arguing should stop; we can't all agree, but we can compromise, right?
fighting; violence should definitely stop.


control someone has to control everything; but does the power go to their heads?
need what we desire, what we crave, what fuels us.  keeps us going.

PEACE TO THE WORLD.

formspring and twitter.

today i made a formspring, i figured i should catch up and get one cuz everyone seems to have one now. :)
the links on my page (obviously) but here's the link again driftwoodangel - formspring.  i'll answer your questions. :)


also, follow me on twitter guys!  here's the link for that if you can't see it on my page driftwoodangel - twitter.  tweet tweet!






how was the start of your lovely weekend? :)




[ PS. new blog changes may be coming up soon; so be warned! :) ]

SUMMER2010. ♥

this summer i want to go on a roadtrip...

to a little place called crediton...

i want to wear all my amazing clothes (like this tommy hilfiger tshirt. :])...

sleep under the stars...

take amazing photos...

make a fairytale...

make memories...

write (and listen to!) amazing songs...

stay in love with the amazing people i have.




[ images via weheartit! ]








everyone seems to be in such a summery mood so i decided that i would write a post on it too and get in the mood. :)

YOU'VENEVERBEENSOUSED;CUZI'MUSINGYOUMYLITTLEDECOY.

today was "valentines day" at school, i got like, a really cute card and a box of chocolates of daniel. :)
we walked home with katie, which kinda made it awkward because she was making me talk and be in the spotlight; which i guess i hate.
and then some stupid idiot held it up and read it out in english, being totally gay; i hated him before it, now i just hate him more.  he always makes a big show of himself and thinks he's a big shot, when he's really not.

here's my card.  sorry it's the wrong way. xD

i'll do another post later today, tomorrow or sunday on love/valentines day.  i just wanted to do a short post for these photos and that i'm happyyyyyyyyyy. :)






[ images by meee! :) ]

HAVEYOUEVER...?

REVOLUTIONIZE.

BELIEVE IN LOVE.  LOVE OTHERS.  LOVE YOURSELF.






ever wished so hard on a star that it came true?  ever loved someone so much your heart broke?  ever listened to music for so long you lost your hearing for a minute?  ever fell in love with someone you shouldn't?  ever heard something you shouldn't?  ever regretted something?  ever wrote a song?  ever experienced something you'll never forget?  ever wrote something so long, heartfelt and rambling you felt scared to show someone; afraid of what they might see in you?  ever thought you could trust someone and it all fell around you in ruins?
ever fell in love?  ever heard music for what it really is?  ever shined through the darkness of somebody's life?  ever done something good?  ever drank syrup straight from the bottle?  ever walked outside of the lines?  thought outside of the box?
ever lit a candle?  ever said a prayer?  ever made an amazing friend?  ever wrote a list of things you want to do before you die?  ever made a cake?  ever said i love you?  ever been loved by someone?  ever had someone hug you from behind?  ever had a fight?  ever loved the air you breathe?  ever been grateful you have what you have, and nothing more?
ever made memories?  ever laughed so hard that you cried?  ever left your headphones in and listened to nothing at all?  ever made an enemy?  ever hugged a tree?  ever been kissed?  ever fell in a pond?  ever listened to a song so much you hate it?
ever kissed in the rain?








life's experiences are there to show you that not everything's the same.  there's different emotions, music, moods, feelings, hurt, change out there.  there might only be one chance to get that one experience, take it.
don't ever let someone put you down.  don't ever walk away from the one you love.  don't ever let someone tell you what to do.  don't ever let someone steal the one you love.  accept change, no matter how much it hurts.


make memories, make things last.  take photographs, tell people what you think.  chase after the ones that leave.  don't ever back down from what you believe in.
dance in the rain; stand under the streetlights; break down crying; follow your heart; chase your dreams; make history.
start a revolution.

LETMEOUTOFHERE. ♥

i was just look at random photos on the internet (as you do ;]) and i found this!  how cute is it?!

i'm her pancakes, she's my syrup.  [ image via weheartit ]








things that inspire me...

cute little photos. :)

love notes from special people. :)

beautiful places . :)

freedom. :)

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF; BELIEVE IN FREEDOM. ♥

IJUSTLOSTTHELOVEOFMYLIFE.

guitars - make music, spread the love.

feelings - you look great, you feel great. :)

thinking - the past, present and future.  

magic - i do believe in fairies, i do, do.

alone - being alone; sometimes a great feeling.

letters  - we all know a faun. ;)

languages - a way of communicating. :)

quotes - the best quote ever. <3

fairytale - we all have one. <3

school - social life and learning; all in one. :)

love me, hate me, say what you want about me. <3

give me feedback on whether i should write more posts like this, i like writing like this when i have the time.

:)

SELFISHLITTLEBRAT. ER, NO.

STOP BEING SO HYPOCRITICAL WHEN IT'S YOU IN THE WRONG.
STOP PRETENDING YOUR ALWAYS RIGHT WHEN YOUR CLEARLY NOT.
STOP PRETENDING I'M YOUR LAPDOG, AND DO WHATEVER YOU SAY.
STOP PRETENDING YOU OWN ME CUZ THAT'S NOT THE CASE.

WHERE'S ROMEO WHEN YOU NEED HIM TO HOLD YOUR HAND?

WHERE'S THE MAGIC WHEN YOU NEED IT MOST?

WHERE'S THE BEAUTIFULNESS WHEN YOUR DESPERATE?

WHERE'S THE CARELESSNESS WHEN YOU WANT TO BE FREE?

I WANT TO BE INVISIBLE.  NO FEELINGS.  NO HURT.  NO NOTHING.

FASTCARSFASTWOMENENERGYDRINKS. X3

do you know what they call medicine that's been proved to work?
medicine. :)


tim minchin is so amazing.  made me laugh his rant about storm did.  kind of gave me some muse.
i pinky swear i will write a long and amazing post for you guys this week.
maybe friday cuz i've got a day off.


i love you all lots (like jelly tots. ;)) <3

LONGTIMENOTALKx3

i know i haven't wrote in ages, but i had internet problems and we only just got it fixed.


lots and lots have happened and i still haven't got daniel a valentine's present!!  totally not looking forward to it for that reason as i have no idea what to get him.
must get mabel to enquire and then go shopping with her, she already got stefan's though. :(


umm, there's lots to write that idk what to write about so we'll leave it at that and i'll come back later if i remember.  ooooh!  and a new updated picture of me cuz i need one on here. :)

meeeeeeee. :)

the view from my window. <3

LIKEWOAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

i spent my day doing some spanish tests, packing, reading, talking, laughing, taking photos (still lost the lead!), went to pick my sister up with the dog then walked back to the new house. :)

i had no school, simply because i just didn't, it wasn't shut though.  i just got lucky. :D

these spanish tests aren't really hard i've just forgotten a load of it and i need to start working on it again for the GCSE at the end of the year.

year eight and the stress of a GCSE.  funnnnnn. :/  there all 17+ too.  even funnerrrrrrrr. :/

anyway, i have to get back to packing some more and the spanish.  i'll post later again for an updateeeeeee. :)

FRIENDLINGS. ♥

i'd like to dedicate this post to some very very very special people that have been so amazing and just ... there for me whatever the situation.


emily- i miss your cute little smile, and the way you look so damn gorgeous in your glasses and your makeup done all pretty.  i love your hair, it always looks amazing even if you just leave it.
your such an amazing person and i don't think you see this.  your so beautiful and lots of people love you.  you may think life's unfair, but never forget: everything happens for a reason.
all those people may leave, but they will always love you.  ♥


maz-  okay, so never really met you, but here goes...  i met you through emily (the amazing emily govier, you know her right? ;))  we argued alot at first, and we never got on (nikki&marriane ;P) but now were amazingly bestie friendlings.
i feel like i can talk to you about almost everything and you won't judge me.  i feel like your kind of my diary, i love you lots too.  and you have the most beautiful eyes, and your smile is not gay.  ♥


annie- okay, so you probably still hate me atm but i just want you to know i'm still here for you.
liptrot, oh god we've never laughed so hard, and cowgill!  that was such an amazing night; it was the night of revolution me thinks.  you made me face my fears, i told you lots of things not many people know about me.  we discovered blogging together, and when your heart iced over i was always going to be the one to stand by you.  even if everyone else left, i would still be with you.  maybe not in person, but definitely in your soul.
i love you so so much, and i hope we can resolve what happened soon.  why don't we forget opinions and go and run over danny martin instead? ;)  ♥


emma-  we've had our ups and downs, there was a point where things got in the way and we almost lost everything we had with annie and eachother, even though we weren't so close to start with.
i feel like it's brought us closer, but now we've drifted apart.  still here for you, as mabel says: Once a friend, always a friend.  ♥


if i missed you out i didn't feel like there was something major important to write about.
i love you anyway, but i just need these guys to know some of the things i feel for them.
they don't know how insane i would be without them, maybe even more insane than i am when i'm with them... ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

DRIFTWOODHASAMEANING.

drifting, drifting, drifting...

never settling, always drifting.

never feeling, never seeing.

never stopping, never knowing.

always drifting...

SELFCONTROLNEEDED.

okay, so today i totally lost it.  i don't just mean a little like i usually do.
i mean alot....  read on if you care.


well, as some of you know i hang out at K Block, which is where the rest of my friends hang aswell.
mabel, one of my dearest friends though i'm not quite sure if she's talking to me or not at the moment, has a boyfriend.  stefan.  who i totally and completely hate and have since year two.
he totally gets on my nerves and he calls me  a bitch and he kicks me sometimes.  i totally lost it with him today.


he was getting on my nerves, just being a general nuisance, so i grabbed his tie and told him to quit it.  yeah, he didn't quit it.
so i started hitting him and kicking him wherever i could, then he started crying.  then i just walked out, i was shaking but you couldn't tell.
i've never been in a real big fight before and i didn't regret one minute of it.  i don't know who's gonna talk to me at school now; because stefan cried and so mabel started crying.
everyone was coming up to me saying "why did you make mabel cry?" "you tight bitch" "you deserve to rot in hell".  like i cared about the comments, i mean come on, really.  i live in hell you stupid bitches.  i never got called out of class so i don't know if stefan told anyone yet, but if he does tomorrow then i'm not quite sure what i'll say.  is it honesty is the best policy, or is that a load of crap?


also, the woman from student support called mrs. hindley called me in today.  she showed me round this website which is for online counselling.  i mean, come on, my parents only split up it's not like anyone died.
it's kindof weird, because i never really talked to some stranger about how i was feeling.  i might not aswell.  it's too weird and they'll be too nosy about everything.
she was only trying to help though so i might give it a go.


this is the first long post i've posted in ages, sorry to have to unload all that crap but seriously guys, i need somewhere to store it.  thanks for listening to me rant on and on. :)




how was your day? :) xxx

my version :D

oh nikky your so fine, your so fine you blow my mind hey nikky, hey hey hey nikky. ;)

-look of horror!-

y'know how i said i was gonna post some photos later?  well i lost my camera lead... :|     i'm so gutted, i took some photos but i can't put them on cuz of the lost lead.  i looked everywhere and i just can't find it!
devestated.....




update:  
mood: happy. :)
news of the day: i got took to exclusion {isolation} for "bullying" someone i didn't even bully. :|
photo of the day: the lead is lost. :'(
song of the day: crazier - taylor swift.




kthxbai ;)

update

ummm, nothing really to write today.  i have alot of packing today so i might take some photos and things.

maybe post later?   muah x

back to the olden days...

i found some old photographs today, so i decided to take photos of them on my digital camera and put them on here cuz the ones of my sister are quite cute. :)

this is my sister, not quite sure what year. :)

this is me and my sister, i'm on the left.  not quite sure what year either. :)

and this is my sister again, she was the cuter one.  again, not sure what year but i think it was before primary school? :)

and this was definitely in nursery/reception.  cute though isn't it? :)

today was quite fun, took lots of photographs, made a few memories with my sister.

and got laughed at by maz cuz of my accent? ha.

i had to carry loads of boxes, so now my back's in agony.  atleast i have no PE tomorrow, which would of been volleyball or something outside i think. :(

not ready to make nice - dixie chicks.

it's a sad, sad story when a mother will teach her daughter that she outta hate a perfect stranger.

and how in the world can the words that i said, send somebody so over the edge that they'd write me a letter, saying that i better "shut up and sing or my life will be over." ♥

dixie chicks.