GOODBYEBEFOREWE'VEEVENMET.

thinking about stopping blogging, or making a new blog or something.  this one seems kinda wasted with time.  if those are the right words.  not sure they are since i've only wrote fiftyone (now fiftytwo) posts and haven't had this post for even a year.  but you understand, right?  i might make an anonymous blog.  not tell anyone the link.  people can follow if they stumble across it, but i won't be giving out a link.  it might work, i guess.
i'm not into fashion or anything, my passion is music.  but maybe i'll continue a little like this.  only less information about myself.  and names.  that way noone can see what i write and my friends will never know my true feelings, like what this blog has done to me.  some pretty bad things have happened over here since i made my blog.  one of my friends has stopped blogging again for a while.  another girl i thought i knew deleted her blog.  not sure if she'll still come to this blog or not.  who knows.  the friend might, but i won't give her the link either.  i want this one to be au natural nikky.  not have anyone that knows me commenting.  just people that understand that i don't want people i know reading my personal things.
it's one of my fears.  for them to find out too much and go off me, which i guess might have happened, oh well.  like i care now.  but someone very dear to me.  like daniel, my shitty posts on here i wouldn't want him to read.  some of them are so full of hate.  and i hate that.  ha, i just used a word i don't like using in places like this.  but that's off subject.
if i do start a new blog, what kind of things would you want me to write?  maybe my day in someone elses point of view.  maybe what i look like from the outside looking in.  maybe that's a good idea.  maybe not.
maybe i'll just give it a go and see how it turns out.  thank you for reading all of my posts.  it was lovely to meet you all. (L)

ONEWRONGWORDANDI'LLBREAKYOURWRIST.

to be honest, i'm way past caring.  keeping things bottled up doesn't make you look stronger makes you look stupider when you finally uncover it.  the ones that show their problems are the ones that can deal with them, not the ones that let them mount up and up and up until they just can't take it anymore.  the clever ones.
to be honest, i love you far too much to ever say that.  and i can't believe you thought that.  i never will.  i couldn't stand it.  it would break my own heart too.  and if i hurt you...  i just couldn't stand it.
to be honest, i'm getting closer than i thought to you.  it's quite strange but i do like it.  i just never thought we would really end up that way.
to be honest, i'm sick of people overreacting.  and yes, you could have killed me, if you'd stabbed me a bit higher up in my neck, so i didn't overreact at all.


we didn't fricking leave you, kay?  we weren't about to stand in the pouring rain to wait for someone that's bailed.  you wouldn't have appreciated it anyway.  you never do.


and now i just read your blog.  and the crap you wrote on there was the end of it.
that's the end of it.  stop treating me like shit.  i'm not even gonna talk civilized to you anymore.  and my last post?  that wasn't directed at you, but believe what you want cuz i'm past caring.

stfu.

shut the fuck up.  i hate you.

...

oh my god.  you're actually pathetic.  i hate you.

UPDATION.

still haven't done those posts, wearing far too much eyeliner, watching how i met your mother, talking to daniel, my eyesights gone crappy lately, CRAPPY EYESIGHT, UGH.
going in the shower now.  post later or tomorrow.  most probably tomorrow. xxx

THAT'STHEWAYILOVEDYOU.

so i guess you're wanting this amazing post full of light and pictures.  well tough, you're gonna have to deal cuz i have like.. three essays for a site and a charrie waiting to be accepted that i have to add a few things too and i'm talking to my friends and trying to find my clothes (yeah, i lost my clothes.  woohoo...), i haven't eaten all day and i think i might pass out and i just really can't be assed right now.  think i'm due on my period soon, such a pain in the ass. >.<  but atleast it means i'm actually nice for a week.  not normal.


went back to school today, so i'm even more stressed out cuz of that, sure i'll get homework tomorrow so i'm enjoying the let off we had today while i can.  ohmygod i must have had this chewy for four hours now and it's making me feel sick, and even more hungry.  don't really know why i'm ranting on about my chewy to you but i'm alone in the house so y'know.  you get to hear it instead.  might make something to eat, probably won't.  hope it's a mcdonalds for tea.  yum.


i should really be getting on with my post now.  but i think i need something to eat before i do actually die.  talk to you later or something like that.

SHEDON'TEVENKNOWYOUNEVERGONNALOVEYOULIKEIWANTTO.

meh.


nothing i really want to talk about today.  except people sometimes don't take things the way you want them to.
'nuff said.


(the initial thing wasn't lame.  it was so that anyone who read your blog {except for the obvious} wouldn't understand.)